This time last week a good friend came round at silly o clock. Apparently my grinch like status was apparent over text message (maybe the "what's the point in decorating for Christmas when I'm single and childless?!" one gave it away...) and the doctors orders were wine and lots of. We sat on my sofa (because my lovely little Laura Ashley sofa is back downstairs, hooray!), kept the fire roaring and politely ignored the bare tree.
You see, that afternoon I'd opened my decoration boxes and as much as I adore my little tree fairy, she was a celebration of our first Christmas in this house. Along with a sentimental collection of baubles, two stockings and a great big dose of tiredness they conspired to create yet another mini meltdown.
But the wine went and Sunday came, with window washing and cake baking and general tree ignoring as long as possible. And then another friend came round and drank tea and talked decorations and suddenly I was ready. The tree is filled with B&Q generic baubles, as well as the beautiful champagne teardrops I bought as new stock from a car boot sale in the Summer. I can't cope with sentiment at the moment. Except the fairy, because I love her.
But in an evening when the curtains are closed, the candles are glowing and the tree is twinkling, I light the fire and wrap myself in a big chunky knit blanket and then I know why I don't need anyone else here to be able to enjoy Christmas.
This is a chance to form new memories, new traditions. I am surrounded by so many wonderful friends and family. Every morning I open my advent swap from the lovely Lucey at Lemonade Kitty and I drink tea from flowery mugs and I go to work. I eat what I fancy for tea and I go to bed with a book when I feel like getting comfy. I spent my time with who I want, when I want and am so very lucky. I think Christmas was bound to be hard, I just wasn't kind enough to myself to acknowledge that. But it'll come and it'll go and I will get by...with a little help from my friends, a crate full of wine and cheesy Christmas music on the stereo!
It is a difficult time of year when you are newly single, but friends and family are the key. You can make new traditions for you, all for you, exactly as you want it to be. The advent swap is great isn't it, I'm thoroughly enjoying opening a gift every day.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Kandi x
You poor thing, nothing worse than feeling "ok" and then something starts you off!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your new traditions, I thought Christmas would be sad on my own but I'm loving sitting on my sofa this evening, all alone yes but perfectly happy with my twinkling Christmas lights and feel quite happy!
Victoria xx
Hugs Hugs and more Hugs....
ReplyDeleteIt's not surprising you got emotional, as you say, so many memories are tied up in Christmas and decorations. Cosy up, lean on friends and family and focus on things being different but better in the new year x
ReplyDeleteWhat lovely friends you've got, hope your advent pressies are cheering you up, Lucey x
ReplyDeleteGood for you lovely x x x
ReplyDeleteMaking new memories and traditions is always exciting, that is what you need to focus on right now. Your tree is looking gorgeous, love the tear drop baubles, very pretty. Lots of love and christmassy hugs x x x x
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll be surrounded by lots of love this christmas, enjoy your advent pressies, Lucey x
ReplyDeleteYour friends are always there for you because you are a very special person xxxxxxxxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteYou are very strong and you are taking the right attitude. Of course you will feel more emotional this year, in fact im sure you will want 2011 to go away (it will soon enough!). All your bloggie friends are here you know xxx
ReplyDeletei love the bit about new memories and new traditions - it's like a new beginning and something to look forward too. i hope you have a lovely christmas - the photos of your house are beautiful.x
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. Even though my relationship ended in May, and you'd think I'd have got over it by now, it's just hard to forget 5 years of memories. I am perfectly fine most of the time, and I am over it, and have moved on... but I did struggle a bit with the thought of decorating the tree, knowing that we bought the decorations the first Christmas we were together. But, life goes on!! We will be fine and happy and all will be good, and it does get easier. And you realise how damn great your friends and family are, and how much they care about you! :o) (Even if my dad did make a comment the other week that maybe I didn't have to keep mentioning every 5 minutes that I'm single and childless!!!) You've gotta laugh! And there has been some improvement in my lovelife in the last 2 weeks, but I'm trying not to jinx it at this early stage, so won't say too much! Anyway, just wanted to say that I understand, and hope you're ok and that things will get better. (Sorry for rambling on!) xx
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